The Art of Laziness

Arguably, living a life of laziness actually takes skill. Seriously!

Because to a “lazy person” (the term that I will from here on abbreviate to “LP”, being one myself), every action they take must be worthwhile, otherwise they won’t bother carrying it out. So a lot of time is first spent in thinking and planning how to be most “efficient” in every sphere of life that requires work—studies, chores, fitness, business, passions etc.

So contrary to popular belief, the true LPs are smarter than one may initially give them credit—they in fact need to be clever and creative if they wish to continue their life of “ease”.

So perhaps more than any other Average Aisha, LPs are the true Physicians, understanding the application of the formula for “power” better than many:

where, Energy = Work

The objective of an LP is to maximise the outcome (i.e. Power, which is the “rate at which one works”). However, unlike most people, LPs understand that (according to the formula):

a) You achieve the greatest Power when you put in great amounts of energy over a short period of time

b) It is unproductive to put in great amounts of energy for a long period of time because they, in effect, cancel each other out, leaving minimal Power.

So an LP actually won’t mind putting in a huge effort, as long as the time in which they need to “work” is minimised!

Thus, you will notice LPs getting quite creative with coming up with “short-cuts”, to cut down the time in which they need to actually “physically work”, if you catch my drift. Furthermore, LPs need to be quite foresighted to avoid “wasting time”. To better demonstrate what I mean, here is a typical example of the thought-processes of a true LP:

“I have to lose several kilos before that formal dinner that’s a few months away… But I want to first make sure that what I do will produce results. So I’m not going to waste my time just joining the gym and trying this/that—putting in all that effort, possibly for nothing! Nor am I just going to starve—when I love food. Hmmm… What tips are out there, specifically for losing some weight temporarily because I don’t actually care if I put it back on after. Which of those strategies are known to be effective? Which of them requires least effort?”

But LPs don’t just adopt this way of thinking for longer-term goals (which first require more research). In the (true) example below, notice the “assessment of variable factors”, the “foresightedness”, the “creativity”, the “intelligent execution”…if I do say so myself. (Sorry, but humbleness isn’t always a trait of an LP!)

“I need to keep this kitchen clean, especially as Mum is away. For starters, I know that the dishes are always going to pile up and I will be left to do them, on top of all the other duties required. But to get my brothers to at least do the dishes when prior to this point, they haven’t had to lift a finger in the home is a tough ask… So what I’ll do is store away all the cutlery, plates and cups and leave just one of each item per family member and explain that from here on, they’re responsible for keeping their items clean for their use. I know that they’re not going to wash even that item initially—I know they’re going to test me—but I am also sure that if I am steadfast and consistent with this, the dishes will be one less thing I need to be worried about.”

(And Alhamdulillah, they were. At least until Mum came back…)

So all in all, I rather think it can be deduced that if there were more True LPs around the globe, the world would run much more efficiently than it currently does.

Author: Raihanaty A. Jalil

Raihanaty A Jalil writes poetry and fiction and has been on a panel during Perth Festival Writers Week 2019. She has performed a reading of her work at the Wheeler Centre Melbourne during the Digital Writers’ Festival 2019. She currently sits on the board for Centre for Stories.